30 is the new 21....DEAL WITH IT!

So apparently the age of 21 is supposed to be some magical age in which the awesomeness of your life peaks. Well, if that's the case, then life really blows because when I think back on it, 21 was really not all that great.  Sure I could purchase alcohol and get into bars, but really people, all that ever got me in life was a hangover and  a couple of dates with some craptastic boyfriends. 

SO, as I approach my big 3-0 B-day, I've come up with reasons why 30 is so much better than 21. 

Do I look like my awesomeness has peaked.....no people, I get more awesome every DAY!

1. You have stopped giving a crap what people think about you.
Hence this blog. I never would have had enough gumption to write things like this and post them for the entire world (or my mother) to see when I was 21. When you are 21, you still think that everyone in the world will eventually like you if they get to know you. Well, by age 30 you have finally figured out that you are wrong. Some people are just A-holes and will never like you or anything you do. Its fine really, you don't need that many friends anyway.

2. Your friends have stopped moving all over the country

When I was 21, I had a great group of friends. Still love those people very much, however they are now spread all over creation, because we all met in college when we were trying to figure out what we were going to do with our lives. These people now have jobs and spouses that have moved some of them far far away. By the time you are 30, most of your close friends are people that live close to you and are not likely to be picking up and moving soon. There is something to say about no longer being in a "transitional" part of life. 

3. You don't have to worry about dating

Okay I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but these are my reasons why I think 30 rocks. Dating was about 2% fun and about 98% awful! I spent several years in my late teens and early twenties dating bunch of f&ckt@ards. As soon as I started dating my now husband, I realized he was the first non idiot I had ever dated. Needless to say, I went ahead and locked him in for the long haul. When you have spent the last 6 years with a bunch of 8 mile rejects, you know a decent one when you see em.

Sealed the deal:)

4. You actual have a little money

I know money isn't everything, but it sure helps. I was so very poor when I was 21, I couldn't have spent 6 dollars on a mixed drink at a bar even if I wanted to. In fact, every so often my mom would send me $5 dollars in the mail in a card so I could "get myself a treat." Hell, a treat... I got myself 5 nights worth of food from the Wendys $0.99 menu. I might be offensive and uncouth, but damn it,  I'm an industrious little b%tch. I'm glad to be in a point in my life that I no longer clam up and cry up over having to buy a bottle of Tide. (Okay. maybe I still do a little, that sh!t is $14)

5. You have accepted that your body could be alot worse
Your body probably wasn't perfect when you were 21. If it was, I hate you....actually, no I don't. If you were really skinny back then, it is unlikely you had nice boobs that were real...that's a known fact.  So, anyway, by the time you are 30, you probably still don't love you figure, but you have at least accepted that things could be way worse. Mostly because you go to Walmart once a week for a visual reaffirmation of that....enough said. Bodies were not designed to be perfect. How many funerals did you go to and look at the person an think that they were sure looking damn fine????? Morbid I know, but a life well lived does not usually end without some fat and wrinkles to show for it.  Skinny does not always equal sexy. You know what is sexy? CONFIDENCE!!! Also, covering up cellulite is also sexy. I'm not delusion, no one thinks cellulite is sexy, even when you are 30.

6. You no longer fear the unknown
One of my many irrational fears when I was younger was that I would turn 30 and be unmarried, without a good job, and living in a van down by the river. (Maybe we watched a little too much SNL?) So now that 30 has come and gone, I can get over the fear of being that VERY scary age and having nothing to show for it. In the event you are 30, without a life partner and are currently living in a mom-mobile down by the Ohio River, you have probably had time to adjust to the thought of that. The key to life is all about managing your expectations.

This was high quality television

7. Being at home in bed on Saturday night is no longer considered a defeat
ITS A PRIVILEGE!  There is nothing I would like to do more than stay home on the weekend,  never take off my pajamas,  and watch a movie. That's if we could ever actually watch a movie in this house. The last time I tried the movie was 1 hour and 47 mins....It took 3 days to watch it because my child would not stop with his incessant chatter. Nevertheless, I am so much less concerned on whether or not have something fun to do every weekend.

I literally have no idea what this movie was about, and I watched it for 3 days.

8. You don't live in an apartment anymore
From the ages of 18-25, I lived in either a dorm or an apartment. Actually I moved 6 times during those 7 years. For one of those years,  I lived in a room that I am pretty sure was initially meant to be used as a closet.  Apartments suck. White walls, nasty carpet, and a pad of concrete that's 4' x 5' to do all your outside activities. When we finally bought a house, I finally started feeling less like a nomad and more like a VERY POOR MORTGAGE PAYING MEMBER OF SOCIETY.  The American Dream.

So there you have it. Turns out life does not completely blow after the age of 21. 30 is still pretty good. I've got 10 years to think about 40, so I'll keep you posted on that one. So do not pity me,  you young, poor, skinny, little-boobed, single SUM BEACHES.

30 is the new 21, DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!