So, I’m at Walmart the other day and trying to wade through
the sea of freakshows to get my much needed weekly groceries, and I notice that
some things I am good with getting the generic version, other things, NO
FREAKING WAY! This being said, I grew up
with Karen Teresa O’Nan Martin- and that woman doesn’t believe in generic
anything. So since I haven’t officially lived with her
for about 12 years now, I consulted with her on this topic again for this blog.
So what things can you buy generic? And what things do you
need to stick with the real stuff?
“You cant buy anything generic, that generic crap is all
garbage”-The one and only Karen
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| This is how we roll in Walmart |
I will have to admit, I don’t feel great joy when I put my
Equate brand items on the checkout. I
look at their sad plain little boxes and wonder if maybe Karen is right. First of all, why do they make these boxes so
damn homily? I will have to say, I am
your average consumer and I am attracted to sparkly packing. Well, I guess
that’s what you get for buying generic- sad, unsparkly, homily little boxes.
So I have compiled a list of items that I think there is no time ever that it
is accepted to buy the generic version. Now I am sure some d- bag will get on
here an post a comment about how they use the generic version and it works just
fine and it’s stupid to spend more money on the brand name. Well, please refer
to my very first blog post “Readers Beware” on that subject matter. If I cared
what your list was, I would be reading your blog now wouldn’t I????? J
Absolutely, Positively, No Generics people-“They are all
crap”
1.
Q-tips-
Take my word on this one. I pull a lot of shit,
out of a lot of people’s ears. Actually I actually take great pleasure in doing
so. Its kinda that rush you get when you pop a really big pimple. (yeah, you
know what I am talking about) I have pulled more than one Equate brand q-tip
end out of someone’s ear. Here’s a tip people, if you stick one in your ear and
only half of it comes back out…..you’re not doing it right.
2.
Tampons- Okay ladies (or brave men that would actually buy
these for your ladies. I think my husband would just soon fashion one out of a
cotton ball and some fishing line before he would be caught dead at the store
with some Tampax in his cart). You’re putting these in your Jay-Jay. I know
some of you are not very selective about what you shove up there, considering
your choice of significant other, but I am. Stick with Tampax please. Plus, the generic kind are bad about getting the string
wrapped around the tampon. Unfortunately
in my line of work, I am often the retriever of such lost items. No one really
wants to fish up in your bidness to retrieve….well anything really.
4.
Baby wipes- This one should be pretty self
explanatory, but for those of you who are certified idiots-I’ll lay this one
out for you. This thin little wet peace of paper is the only thing that lies
between you and a big handful of shit. Are you really that hard up for money
that you want to go cheap in that department? Stick with Huggies. Pampers
diapers are tolerable. Pampers wipes suck.
5.
Snack cakes- I was personally devastated when
Hostess went out of business. Thank goodness they have got their shit together
and got back to making delicious mini donuts and cupcakes. Even my 3 year old refuses to eat chocolate
donuts that are not Hostess. ATTENTION OTHER BRANDS- Your doing it wrong!
6.
Tennis Shoes- Well, I took that survey the other
day I found on Facebook about dialect, and discovered that I actually call
these "Tennashoes", but you get my drift. For those of you that don’t speak
Western Kentucky- those would be the equivalent of sneakers or perhaps athletic
shoes. Well, there is a reason that
these companies and sell these shoes for $150 dollars, its because they are so
much more comfortable. I used to wear Nikes, but then I got turned on to Asics.
I’m not going back. I walk almost 5 miles a day- and you can bet your sweet ass
you wont find any walmart special on my feet.
7.
Makeup brushes- I’m going to claim ignorance on
this one. I used to wear Clinique makeup, which is not cheap. Just because I didn’t
know any better, I used those sad little brushes that came with the makeup.
WRONG!!!! Then I got introduced to MAC
makeup and I’m in love. MAC doesn’t come with any crappy little brushes, which
at first kind of irritated me. Then once I purchased some MAC brushes and
started to use those, I realized that I had been so dumb all these years. It
makes all the difference in the world. The brushes are expensive- mentally
prepare yourself (and don’t tell Josh.)
Last but not least…..
8.
Furniture- I will say ole Karen was right on
this one. I have regretted every cheap piece of furniture I have every
purchased. My husband hates it when I
get a wild hair to go furniture shopping, because he knows that pricetag is
going to be high. Although I accuse him of being cheap, I guess that is not
actually true. He is actually willing to spend money, real money, on certain
things….by that, I mean THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM. Like lets say- duck
hunting gear, toilet paper, electronics, etc… When it comes to things like home
décor, my clothes, makeup, tampons, etc- that wallet gets pretty tight.
This list is not all inclusive, but just a public service
announcement. So okay Mom, I guess you weren’t wrong about everything. Sometimes you do, in fact, get what ya pay for!
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| Tripp is shocked- all Tampons are not created equal |
So true about, well, all of the above!!
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