... Well, I'm back...... (insert creepy voice here)! Its been way too long since I have gotten to blog about Mommyhood. Actually fair readers, I come to you begging for forgiveness, because I have officially made a mistake. (Josh Bailey better write that down, because I make so very few.)
Last year around this time of year I wrote a post about the great bikini debate. After much ado, I had decided that I was just going to continue to rock a bikini for as long as I didn't get arrested for public indecency. Well folks, let me just testify that the antidepressants I was on at the time must have been of superb quality. I find myself standing at the brink of summer again with the same question on my mind.. Wear a bikini...or fold my cards and just accept that I have reached an AGE/BODY limiting time in my life where that is no longer appropriate. Lets settle this once and for all.
The rules for choosing your suit....
1. Use the same fashion advise you use when trying on clothes and apply that to swimsuit shopping.
Okay- seems reasonable. So in general, I know that when I shop for clothes, I try to cover the parts that I think look the worst and emphasize my best assets. So when I think about it......HELLO, a bikini is actually the exact opposite thing I need to be wearing. Ever since my second child spent all 9 months sitting on my bladder- it has given my stomach below my belly button the appearance of a deflated balloon. Nobody wants to look at that....hell, not even me. Bikini 0, Not 1
2. Wear the appropriate outfit for the activity you will be doing.
So my days of lounging in a beach chair using baby oil as a pretend sunscreen are over. If we go to the pool, there is very little chance I will be lying still with my arms stretched over my head (which is the only position that my body looks acceptable in a bikini. Nowadays I am generally bending, squatting, jumping, and doing other various contortionist moves to chase after my kids, Once I tried on a bikini in Dillard's and did the jump and squat test. I got a little nauseated, the attendant in Dillard's got a little freaked out that there was someone jumping and squatting in the dressing room. All in all, the cover it up wins.
3. Figure out why this is such a big deal to you...
I have this complex that officially retiring my bikini is the end of my youth. Why is that, you say? Mostly because every time I tell my mom that think I am not wearing a bikini this year, she says something to the effect of, "Well, if you are not going to wear a bikini, you might as well not even put on a bathing suit. Maybe they make a swim moo moo you can buy." This is largely her feeling about life because she is a child of the 70's that values minimal swimsuit coverage and starving yourself skinny. When I look back at pictures taken back in her day, girls were all skinny. Almost freakishly skinny. Well guess what Karen, I'm from generation X/Y. We have figured out how delightful it is not the be starving. Women now don't get to spend there postpartum period at home doing jazzercise tapes and toning their thighs along with Suzanne Summers. I waited until the end of my 11 hour work day to waddle down to labor and delivery and squeeze out my first kid, then 6 weeks later I was back at it. Its a totally different ballgame now. New rules! New Bodies!
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| Does this scary anyone else?????? |
4. Life is too short to wear uncomfortable clothes
Somewhere in the last several years I have adopted a new life motto which is....
"Life is too short to wear non stretchy pants." I think that all of us ladies should unite and take a vow we will never buy another pair of uncomfortable pants again. The menfolk did it some time ago and look at how far it has gotten them in life. Likewise, bathing suits should be comfortable, stretchy, and shouldn't require you to suck in your stomach the entire time you wear them. To test out this theory, I wore a tankini the other day for a quick (CHILLY) dip with my kids. Not once, did I think about whether or not my stomach was jiggling or my muffin top was showing. It was actually kind of freeing to know that my body can actually look like a mothers body should look underneath my swimsuit and IT'S NO ONES BUSINESS BUT MY OWN!
5. Don't Over Think It
Great advice you say from someone that I has spent the last several years arguing with the voices in her head on whether or not to where a two piece. In all seriousness though, like most things in life, it is all about confidence. Have you ever seen some of the sh*t that models in the fashion industry wear? How come they can wear something complete ridiculous and convince everyone that its a trend.....CONFIDENCE! If you THINK you look good in whatever attire you have on, then that good JUJU is going make you look good no matter what you are wearing.
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| Talk about bringing the shoulder pads back |
Moral of the story, whatever you decide this year, just make sure you feel good in it and then rock that SH*T!!!!
